TIPS FOR HANDLING CHANGE
Change sucks. The word gives me anxiety as I’m typing it out now. And yet, life is full of it. I’m sure if you clicked through to this post you can relate. After all, this is the season for new chapters; some of you may be starting a new school, starting your first job (or a new job), adding to your family, getting into a new relationship, or ending an old one.
Regardless of what your reasoning for clicking through is, and no matter what change you’re about to go through, as scary as it is to think about, You’re going to be okay. Yes, change is extremely scary and the fear of the unknown can swallow you up whole and create some absolutely negative thoughts, but take a second and look how far you’ve come and allllll that you’ve handled. I know it may not seem like it, but you’ve been through some pretty tough crap, and that’s made you a strong-a@# human that can handle what ever is thrown your way.
You may be looking for the magic answer to make everything stay as-is, but I’m sorry to tell you that doesn’t exist. And as I’m writing that out, I’m reminded of why that is. How boring would life be if nothing ever changed? Sure, we would be comfortable, and we may never have to face rejection or loosing anyone. But is that Tuck-everlasting state really worth it? Think about how much life there is out there when you have the courage to open up and allow things to change. Think of all the things you’d be missing out on if you never had the courage to let change in and accept it.
Here are 5 things that I’m constantly trying to remind myself in the face of change.
Change your perspective. Ask your situation, “What are you here to teach me?”
It’s pretty amazing what can happen when we switch up our thinking from “why is this happening to me”, and start asking ourselves, “what is this going to teach me”. When we start to treat all of our experiences as lessons, rather than surface value ‘good’ or ‘bad’ times, we start to have the courage to welcome the unknown. Chances are you’ve been through a lot of pretty hard stuff, and when you look back I hope you can see that everything you’ve been through has helped shape, mold and make you into the person you are today, and the person that you’re supposed to be. Try to train your mind to see change as unique challenges and obstacles that are specifically designed for you and your path, to teach you something that you wouldn’t have been able to learn any other way.
Remind yourself that everything is temporary.
This is one my mom has always told me. Everything is temporary, and nothing lasts forever. When you’re going through uncomfortable times of change, remind yourself that these feelings, this situation, is only temporary and that things will not feel so uncertain forever. The bad times do come, but then again so do the good times. We can’t appreciate the good times without experiencing all the bad.
Realize that worrying will only make things worse.
One thing I’m working on improving is minimizing my worrying and controlling my negative thoughts. Worrying doesn’t do anything for your situation but make you stressed out. Negative thoughts can spiral, and sometimes we protect our insecurities into our situations and make things a lot worse than things would be if we had controlled those thoughts to begin with. Its hard, I’m not gonna lie. One thing that helps me is reminding myself to take things one day at a time and not try to rush or anticipate anything.
Remind yourself, everything happens for a reason.
I know sometimes it doesn’t seem like it, but everything you’ve been through has happened for reason and taught you something. Something that is so essential in making you who you are today, that you wouldn’t be you without it. Know that things happen when they’re supposed to happen. Try not to put so much pressure on yourself to make the “right” decision, and focus on making the decision that’s right for you, in that situation, at that time. Don’t worry about what other people are going to think because they’re not living your life. You are. Try to trust the process and have faith that as long as you’re taking steps in the direction that you want to be in and doing things that make you happy, then everything will fall into place.
I hope they help you find courage and peace in times of uncertainty and I hope you always remember how much of a badass you really are. Instead of seeing change as something intimidating – I’m working on trying to change my perspective to see it as an exciting opportunity to grow into the opportunities that were meant to be, not try and paint out the picture of how I think it should be.